quoted:
love/anger is the fuel that pushes the pen, the ink that blots the page. without either, you wouldn't be able to write something about the person.
with you, i have not decided which yet.
Saturday, April 19, 2008
"i don't know"
i am not a silent nod and hand gestures reader. if there is something to be said, say it for crying out loud. honesty on something that have started with a lie won't hurt. it may even clear the air.
questions= answers
more questions= more answers
should this not be the case? web of many things but once said, it is the truth. what if's are temporary belief. once fed with truth, the dreamy what if 's would disappear in a snap. better than forever running away from and hiding from smoke of let it flow. ugh!
questions= answers
more questions= more answers
should this not be the case? web of many things but once said, it is the truth. what if's are temporary belief. once fed with truth, the dreamy what if 's would disappear in a snap. better than forever running away from and hiding from smoke of let it flow. ugh!
Sunday, April 13, 2008
13 April 2008
My boss/friend told me " You prefer taking care of somebody . Find someone who will take care of you. Domineering ka kasi".Then with that I know I have to agree. I am always drawn to people who wanted to be taken care of. I won't deny it, sometimes I wanted to be taken care of too. As independent and as stubborn as I am, there are days when all I just want is to talk to somebody and tell me that I need not to worry and that one single look, just one look will make it all go away.
I once had somebody who I know for sure will make me feel that way but in the end, I asked him to leave. He made me feel vulnerable, weak that to the point that i am asking him walk me to the comfort room that is just 15 steps away. I admit I can never ever be the sweet, charming young lady for anyone but at that instance I actually felt like one. where is he now? I pushed him away. But still the question is, What does a woman , me in particular, really want?
Extreme, both poles. If I say Yes, that means yes same as when I say No. no in betweens, no grays. But does that apply to love? How does love really make you feel? There should be a written rule as to how to go about love. Should you be weak, nervous , free? what? who should take care of who? I read " Love can never be equal, there is someone who loves more than the other, that is a fact " Do I have to agree on that? I love it when I take care of somebody, there is a certain kind of fulfillment that goes with it. But how come, I shoo away people who will take care of me? as in lovingly take care of me? I can't figure it out. I think, I have to not leave the house for days to figure it out..
I once had somebody who I know for sure will make me feel that way but in the end, I asked him to leave. He made me feel vulnerable, weak that to the point that i am asking him walk me to the comfort room that is just 15 steps away. I admit I can never ever be the sweet, charming young lady for anyone but at that instance I actually felt like one. where is he now? I pushed him away. But still the question is, What does a woman , me in particular, really want?
Extreme, both poles. If I say Yes, that means yes same as when I say No. no in betweens, no grays. But does that apply to love? How does love really make you feel? There should be a written rule as to how to go about love. Should you be weak, nervous , free? what? who should take care of who? I read " Love can never be equal, there is someone who loves more than the other, that is a fact " Do I have to agree on that? I love it when I take care of somebody, there is a certain kind of fulfillment that goes with it. But how come, I shoo away people who will take care of me? as in lovingly take care of me? I can't figure it out. I think, I have to not leave the house for days to figure it out..
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
my sanctuary...
endless distance,
it was i thought what
will bring us to the end..
my thought mislead me again.
as when we parted, that is when
we became more than who we were.
it may not seem fair for us to not
be together.
we have had more than needed
memories to make it through..
we are growing together separately,
becoming better partners absently and
embracing each other with a minute of
words and song..
i love you
more than life itself
it was i thought what
will bring us to the end..
my thought mislead me again.
as when we parted, that is when
we became more than who we were.
it may not seem fair for us to not
be together.
we have had more than needed
memories to make it through..
we are growing together separately,
becoming better partners absently and
embracing each other with a minute of
words and song..
i love you
more than life itself
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
random
you + me
the perfect equation of second thoughts, unending buts and limitless reasons
oh yes, i give up
if there is somebody who needs to put an end to it
it should be me, it has to be done.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
and there is a question i've been meaning to ask
:why do i have to dig up emotions that i knew were forgotten?
it is unsimplified me who is asking and it is a screwed up me that answers
: because honey, you need drama to stay alive. bwahahahaha
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
no really, being in a 4 glorious years of relationship
it makes me wonder if this is all there is to it..
what makes you stay? is it the security that you have somebody
to call your own (not really yours but i mean...)
shetness! i know it is damn big love for me!!!
the perfect equation of second thoughts, unending buts and limitless reasons
oh yes, i give up
if there is somebody who needs to put an end to it
it should be me, it has to be done.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
and there is a question i've been meaning to ask
:why do i have to dig up emotions that i knew were forgotten?
it is unsimplified me who is asking and it is a screwed up me that answers
: because honey, you need drama to stay alive. bwahahahaha
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
no really, being in a 4 glorious years of relationship
it makes me wonder if this is all there is to it..
what makes you stay? is it the security that you have somebody
to call your own (not really yours but i mean...)
shetness! i know it is damn big love for me!!!
Sunday, February 17, 2008
conversations of me
i am of heart, mind and body..
heart says;
stay with your sanctuary
it is her that i desire
i want nobody else but her
she owns me , the whole of me
i never faltered,
i shouted and will shout for her
name forever
mind says:
do not let go of a good man
he is exactly what you need
what you should seek for
who you should be with
together, you can make things
as how they should be
body says:
i thirst for him
every nerve, every sinew
wants nothing but his hand over me
he is what i want until
the moon and light clouds
take over.
clearly, it is unclear
but undoubtedly, my heart
always wins
heart says;
stay with your sanctuary
it is her that i desire
i want nobody else but her
she owns me , the whole of me
i never faltered,
i shouted and will shout for her
name forever
mind says:
do not let go of a good man
he is exactly what you need
what you should seek for
who you should be with
together, you can make things
as how they should be
body says:
i thirst for him
every nerve, every sinew
wants nothing but his hand over me
he is what i want until
the moon and light clouds
take over.
clearly, it is unclear
but undoubtedly, my heart
always wins
Sunday, February 3, 2008
...
i can't believe how vulnerable i get when it comes to you.
don't ask me that same question again,
i will just succumb to my weakness....
don't ask me that same question again,
i will just succumb to my weakness....
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